Eight Years with a Confusing Pancreas and a Broken Heart

Today is the 8th anniversary of my initial diagnosis with diabetes and congestive heart failure.  My, what a long and trying eight years it has been, too.  So much has happened since that fateful day. So many changes in my life, my diagnosis, and my treatments.

Change is so often hard to accept.  Admittedly, this last year has been a real struggle for me as I’ve worked to come to terms with my misdiagnosis and the changing of my label from type 2 diabetes to latent autoimmune diabetes in adults, or LADA.  On one hand, the change has been positive in that I’ve gained access to different treatment options, more supplies, etc… On the other hand, though, it has had the negative effect of leaving me without the sense of identity I had for 7 years, without the sense of belonging I once felt, and without much of the voice that once spoke through this blog and other places in the diabetes community .   And, as this year comes to a close, I find myself still searching for those things.  If only in my mind.

I am hopeful that the coming year will be better and that I’ll find the answers to the questions that keep my mind occupied.  That I’ll find peace.  I hope.

Eight years.

Wow, only eight years?  It feels like so much longer.  Alas, just eight years.  Eight years of knowing, caring, surviving, and sharing.

Eight years of knowing that I have a two invisible chronic illnesses for which there are no cures.  Eight years of knowing that I’m not alone in my fight.  That there are millions of others fighting the same things.  Eight years of getting to know some of the most amazing people around.  Lots of love to everyone in the Diabetes Online Community.

Eight years of caring more about my well being.  Eight years of doing everything I possibly could to beat the odds against me.  Eight years of caring for those around me, both online and offline.  Eight years of being me.

Eight years of surviving the many challenges before me.  Eight years of enduring the daily routines required to stay alive.  Eight years of painful medical procedures and tests to monitor changes both good and bad.

Eight years of sharing my story with the world.  Sharing both my victories and my defeats, showing what it’s really like to live with these conditions.  Sharing the message that it is possible to live well with both. And that there is no shame in being diagnosed with them.

You’ve surely noticed the repetition in this post by now, and you may very well be ready to leave it.  And, honestly, I really can’t blame you.  I’d love to leave it all behind too.  But I can’t.  That’s life with diabetes and congestive heart failure.