Depression,  Diabetes,  Health,  Heart,  Lessons Learned,  Life,  Mental Health,  Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder,  Shout outs

The Ah Ha Moment

If you’ve read my blog, or followed me on Twitter or Facebook, for any length of time, you’re probably aware that life has not been too kind to me or my family over the last few years.  And you are probably aware that as the year 2014 was ending, I was in a very dark place and I was considering ending my life.  Obviously, I didn’t.  I can’t express how thankful I am for the messages of love and support that came in from all of my DOC friends and family at that time.

In mid-January, I was reading a blog post written by my friend Mari Ruddy, in which she mentioned her experience with PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) stemming from her experience with cancer, and how that led to an attempt to end her life.  As I sat there thinking about Mari’s experience in comparison to mine,  a light bulb flashed on in my head.  The “Ah Ha” moment.

“Could I be dealing with PTSD, too?” I thought.  So, the research began.  I spent quite a bit of time reading up on PTSD, it’s symptoms, causes, treatments, etc…  on my own.  Knowing that I needed help, I reached out to someone that I knew I could trust and depend on, and who happens to work in the mental health field.  My dear friend Ashley.  She was able to provide a lot of good information about PTSD in general, as well as tools for coping with and treating it.  All of which has been a huge help.  Thanks again, Ash.

The answer to the question is yes.  After a great deal of personal research and many consultations with my doctors and mental health professionals, it has been determined that I do, in fact, have PTSD.  It stems from my diagnosis with congestive heart failure and it has been exacerbated by a number of other traumatic events in my life.

As for what I’m doing about it?  Well, I’ve spent the last couple of months trying to educate myself and develop coping mechanisms to help deal with things.  I’ve found a couple of really good workbooks with guided exercises to help with the healing process.  In general, I’m just trying to get back on the wagon and stay focused on doing what’s best for me.

off-the-wagon2

I’ve got a long road ahead of me, but for the first time in months, I can actually see the road.  For that, I’m thankful.

Mike

Living with a Confusing Pancreas and a Broken Heart at age 34 #Diabetes #LADA #CongestiveHeartFailure. #MakeDiabetesVisible Creator, Advocate, Blogger, Nature Photographer.

12 Comments

  • Brad S

    So great to read you are making such proactive choices and finding success! The road ahead may be a little bumpy but the ride will be worth it.

  • Andrea

    Sometimes putting a name to what you’re dealing with can make such a huge difference. It sounds like you’re better able to focus your coping strategies now. I wish you well on the road forward.

  • Laddie

    I’ve sent many hugs your way over the last couple of years and at times I’ve been very worried about you. I’m glad that you are working with a diagnosis that makes sense and I hope that happy moments start to outnumber the dark ones. Love the comic!

  • MikeH

    I continue to be sorry for everything that’s been thrown at you, but am glad to hear you’ve pinpointed tje PTSD and are getting that help as needed. Sending you positive vibes, and even more to the stars so that they’ll align and be more in your favor…

  • k2

    I’m glad you have a Dx & I’m so glad you’re doing what you need to!
    Keep on doing what you have to my friend!

  • Caroline

    It sounds like you’ve been very proactive in managing this. Which, on one hand, could be expected of a health blogger…..but really, it is a terrific boost to your recovery and is to be commended! I would be interested to see more blog posts on those workbooks/guided exercises, if it’s not too personal. Good luck on the continued journey to getting back on the wagon!

  • KerryTP

    Thank you so much for sharing and I am so sorry to hear what you have been through. Well done on working through your diagnosis and looking for the light at the end of the tunnel. Even though I have only just joined this awesome online community I can say for sure that you will never be alone. Myself and so many others are out here and ready to lend an ear on a challenging day or moment.

  • Scott K. Johnson

    Love the picture, Mike. 🙂

    And you know what, it makes perfect sense to me that you’re dealing with PTSD. You’ve been on one heck of a ride, that’s for sure.

    Thanks for sharing so openly about this. I bet it felt good to get it out there, and simply because it’s out there, it’s sure to help many others.