My Diabetic Heart

Living with Congestive Heart Failure and Type 2 Diabetes

WELCOME TO My Diabetic Heart!

Type 2 Diabetes and Congestive Heart Failure are two common conditions that people are diagnosed with every day. Living with one of these conditions at any age is hard enough; imagine living with both at the age of 27. That's what this blog is all about. It's about my life with Type 2 Diabetes and CHF, and about showing that you can live a fulfilling life with each.

4
Jan

Possible Next Steps

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So, yesterday’s visit with with my primary care doctor was quite revealing.  Given the fact that she called me directly and said we needed to discuss a letter she received from my cardiologist, I knew it would be an interesting visit going in.

As I mentioned in a previous post, the results from a recent round of testing performed by the cardiologist indicated that the strength of my heart has deteriorated again, and my ejection fraction is back down to 35%.  I knew that going into the appointment yesterday.  And I knew that the cardiologist had ordered a more intensive test to confirm that result.  What I didn’t know was what he was planning to do if the results were confirmed.

His plan, should the test I’m having next week confirm the ejection fraction is indeed less than 36%, is to arrange for a defibrillator type device that would, hopefully, protect me from sudden cardiac death.  In the event that I should go into cardiac arrest due to ventricular fibrillation, the device would shock my heart and restore a normal rhythm. Which in turn should give me a fighting chance to get to the hospital.

Now, that could mean a couple of different things.  Worst case: I have to undergo surgery to implant a defibrillator.  An operation that, while routine, is fraught with the potential for disaster.  Best case: I have to be fitted with a wearable external defibrillator, involving no surgery, etc.  If I must have something like that, I’d much prefer the non-invasive option.

At this point, either option is on the table.  And what happens next will be determined after the test next Friday.  And while I truly hope the results are better, and that the results of the last test were just wrong, the pain in my chest is telling me otherwise.

My primary doctor and I both agreed that obtaining a second opinion from an independent cardiologist was a good idea, so between now and next Friday, I’ll be meeting with a new doctor to have them review my case.  Again, I’m trying to be optimistic that fresh thinking on this will result in something good, but as I said, I’m struggling with that.

Until then, it’s a wait and see what happens game.  And I’m not good with these games.  I can’t begin to describe what all of this is doing to me mentally.

But there was one bit of good news that came of that office visit.  My A1C was 7.0, down from 7.4 in September.  And given everything that I’m dealing with right now, that’s a damn respectable number.

And at a time when things are quite dark and miserable, it’s nice to see that something I’m doing is still working.

  1. on January 4th at 06:30 pm
    Jeff said:

    Wow Mike! Congrats on your A1C progress :)

    You’ve certainly got my best wishes for your cardio testing next week…

  2. on January 4th at 06:31 pm
    Kate said:

    Oh Mike! I know what you’re going through, if only as an observer. My husband had a difibrillator installed last spring. You two practically have matching ejection fractions! He was very reluctant to have the surgery and honestly, I think he did it for me. It is nice to know that he has a little EMT with him at all times. Please feel free to contact me if you have any questions or just want to talk with someone who knows something about this sh…tuff. Hang in there and congrats on the A1c results!!

  3. on January 4th at 06:31 pm
    Stacey D. said:

    I’m sorry that you’re having a rough time right now Mike. I pray that things will look better for you in the near future. But on a good note great job on the a1c! I’m so glad you got that good news despite the other.

  4. on January 4th at 06:38 pm
    Cherise said:

    Mike-

    My thoughts and prayers are with you! The good thing about it all is that you have options. I know you and your care team will work together to find what the best option is for you.

    Congrat’s on your A1C!!

  5. on January 4th at 07:15 pm
    Colleen said:

    This may not work. I can’t figure out the “captcha.”
    I wish you only the best and like Cherise, will add you to my prayers.
    I hope the further testing shows better results.

  6. on January 4th at 08:07 pm
    Kelly Booth said:

    I will keep you in my prayers also. I hope that everything works out. Second opinions are good to get, and I hope yours helps.

  7. on January 4th at 09:12 pm
    Carol Dixon said:

    Mike,
    Good job on the A1c – it can be a struggle under the best circumstances. I have friends with defibrillators if you want to talk with them, I am sure they would be happy to talk with you. Take care. Many prayers for you.

  8. on January 4th at 09:13 pm
    Rachel said:

    Thinking of you and hoping that whatever decision needs to be made is the right one. (And, woo-hoo, A1C!!)

  9. on January 4th at 10:29 pm
    PrincessLadyBug said:

    I’m proud of you honey! Not just for your great A1C (which if fab!) but for keeping positive & being proactive. You are in my daily thoughts & prayers. And I’m sending you an obscene amount of love & happy thoughts (but only in a really good way). Keep us posted.

    Love you! Mean it!

  10. on January 5th at 07:23 pm
    kerri said:

    Props on the A1C, bro!

    And for the rest . . . big hugs. As hard as it is, now at least there is a plan for what is coming next, even if that option still totally sucks, there is a plan. I’m so happy, too, that you are attempting to remain optimistic in the midst of all this.

    Love vibes comin’ your way <3

  11. on January 6th at 08:33 pm
    alexis said:

    Major props on the A1C! So proud of you!

    As far as the other stuff….I wish I had adequate words, I can’t imagine how you feel. But I know you’re not alone. We are all praying for you. Love you much friend.

  12. on January 9th at 06:42 pm
    k2 said:

    CONGRATS on the a1c! And re: the defibrillator, they = AMAZING and gave our family 20 extra years with my mom. I know several people who wear them and are doing GREAT.
    Lots of hugs, positive vibes & prayers to you my friend!

  13. on January 10th at 12:58 pm
    Toni Miller said:

    Hello Mike,

    First, your A1c result is awesome, and Congrats for that! For the rest of what is going on, my prayers is what I’m sending to you, via the world wide web. LOL! And whatever decisions that you make going forward, will truly be the best ones as long as your HEART is in it! Trust it! Here’s to praying that all is well, and that the first set of tests were WRONG! Smile!
    Much Love!

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My Diabetic Heart by Mike Durbin is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 United States License.

Featured Post

A Blunt Lancet Christmas Single?
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This just in!   MDH News has received unconfirmed reports that Blunt Lancet is set to release a single of their Christmas song, The Twelve Days of Betes, just in time for the holidays.  MDH Entertainment reporter Little G is investigating and will have a full report soon.

Blunt Lancet is the popular 90′s rock band that has staged an impressive come back over the last couple of years.  And this is not the first time we’ve reported on a potential Christmas release from Blunt Lancet.

Last year, the band was rocked by the BetesLeaks scandal, in which a rogue agent of the consulting firm Dewey, Fuck’em & Howe stole the lyrics to the song and shared them on the notorious online site, BetesLeaks.

We are seeking comment from a representative of Blunt Lancet, and will have more on this story as it develops.  In the mean time, here are the lyrics available on their website.

The Twelve Days of Betes

On the first day of Betes my doctor gave to me
The results from my first A1C.

On the second day of Betes my doctor gave to me
Two old brochures and
The results from my first A1C.

On the third day of Betes my doctor gave to me
Three rusty lancets
Two old brochures and
The results from my first A1C.

On the fourth day of Betes my doctor gave to me
Four insulin vials
Three rusty lancets
Two old brochures and
The results from my first A1C.

On the fifth day of Betes my doctor gave to me
Five loads of Bullshit!
Four insulin vials
Three rusty lancets
Two old brochures and
The results from my first A1C.

On the sixth day of Betes my doctor gave to me
Six bills for paying
Five loads of Bullshit!
Four insulin vials
Three rusty lancets
Two old brochures and
The results from my first A1C.

On the seventh day of Betes my doctor gave to me
Seven ways of cheating
Six bills for paying
Five loads of Bullshit!
Four insulin vials
Three rusty lancets
Two old brochures and
The results from my first A1C.

On the eighth day of Betes my doctor gave to me
Eight goals for meeting
Seven ways of cheating
Six bills for paying
Five loads of Bullshit!
Four insulin vials
Three rusty lancets
Two old brochures and
The results from my first A1C.

On the nineth day of Betes my doctor gave to me
Nine pumpers pumping
Eight goals for meeting
Seven ways of cheating
Six bills for paying
Five loads of Bullshit!
Four insulin vials
Three rusty lancets
Two old brochures and
The results from my first A1C.

On the tenth day of Betes my doctor gave to me
Ten fingers bleeding
Nine pumpers pumping
Eight goals for meeting
Seven ways of cheating
Six bills for paying
Five loads of Bullshit!
Four insulin vials
Three rusty lancets
Two old brochures and
The results from my first A1C.

On the eleventh day of Betes my doctor gave to me
Eleven lancers lancing
Ten fingers bleeding
Nine pumpers pumping
Eight goals for meeting
Seven ways of cheating
Six bills for paying
Five loads of Bullshit!
Four insulin vials
Three rusty lancets
Two old brochures and
The results from my first A1C.

On the twelfth day of Betes my doctor gave to me
Twelve Dexcoms beeping
Eleven lancers lancing
Ten fingers bleeding
Nine pumpers pumping
Eight goals for meeting
Seven ways of cheating
Six bills for paying
Five loads of Bullshit!
Four insulin vials
Three rusty lancets
Two old brochures and
The results from my first A1C.

Popular Post

It’s OK to Need Help
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In previous blog posts and conversations over the last two years, I’ve made no bones about the fact that I’ve battled with bouts of depression and anxiety since I was diagnosed with congestive heart failure and type 2 diabetes.

The daily routines of medications, blood sugar testing, meal planning, and other related bullshit, combined with the constant worry of trying to figure out how to pay for all of those medications and testing supplies, are simply overwhelming at times.

Add to that all of the typical stuff that goes along with every day life, you know… work, bills, chores, relationships, etc… and you’ve got yourself a great big barrel of fun.

Then top that off with dealing with a loved one being diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and going through all of the activities and emotions that go along with that, and being forced to put a near 9 year relationship on hold while your best friend becomes the primary caregiver for that loved one, and that great big barrel of fun transforms into the biggest clusterf*#K you’ve ever seen.

It’s all enough to destroy someone mentally. And the extreme mental hurt quickly manifests into extreme physical hurt. And you eventually reach a point where you just can’t take it anymore, and feel like throwing the towel in.

As difficult as it is for me to admit, I reached that point in the early part of February.

And the hard part is that I know it didn’t have to happen. I had a little bottle of “happy” pills in my possession that my doctor had given me the month before. I just wasn’t able to take them immediately, because I was starting a new blood sugar medication and had to get through the side effects of it before starting the other medicine.

And then when it was time to start the Celexa, I kept putting it off and putting it off, because of the fear that I’d have the same problems with it that I had with similar drugs years before. When you’ve had a bad experience with medications, or anything for that matter, you tend to shy away from them. It’s perfectly normal to have those feelings.

Things finally reached a point in early February where I knew I needed help, and knew that I had to take the plunge into the world of anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medications again. And so, on the 21st of last month, I broke the seal on the prescription bottle, cut the little pill in half as the doctor had instructed, and jumped.

Tomorrow, March 21st, will mark a month since I started the medication, and I can honestly say that I’m glad I did. I’m not nearly as edgy as I had been, and feel quite mellow most of the time. And mellow is a good thing.

The moral of this story is this: It’s OK to need help; You just have to ask for it!

Recent Comments

Scott S

I love the fact that Starbucks is one of the nation's largest purveyors of bit-sized cupcakes!!

Debra

That's great news Mike!!!

kerri

Hooray cupcakes! :]

Mike

HAHAHA