When I went to see my doctor Monday morning for a routine checkup, I went with the expectation that I would be receiving a lecture about my blood glucose numbers being higher than she would like and about my A1c rising to 7.4. I had intentionally called for the result last week just so I would know what to expect from the doctor when I saw her. Paranoid much? No, I just know my doctor. And my expectations of receiving a lecture would have been met had I not prepared one of my own. And it went something like this:
“I been battling with type 2 diabetes and congestive heart failure for nearly three years, all the while trying to balance my care with working a crazy night shift 50+ hours a week, the stresses of trying to figure out how the hell to pay all of my bills, pay the co-pays for doctor visits & more than 10 prescriptions, and still have money for food. And by the way, the last year has been spent dealing with April’s mother being diagnosed with stage 4 uterine cancer and all of the hell that goes along with such a diagnosis. YOU try living with all of that and see how well you do with maintaining good diabetes management all the time. Then come talk to me!”
Yes, I had something of an emotional fit in the doctor’s office and it ended with my telling the doctor in no uncertainly terms that “I’m doing the best that I can considering the hell that I’m going through right now, but I’m beyond tired of all of it. I’m f**king Burnt Out!”
Would you believe that I felt much better after getting all that off my chest? Sometimes, you just have to let the frustration out.
After my rant was over, and the doctor stopped looking at me in shock, she suggested we adjust increase the dosage on my Byetta to the full 10mcg dose, which should have been done a couple of months ago, and she also thought it necessary to increase the dosage on my blood pressure medication. Gee, I wonder why. And, of course, before I left the office, I got the usual ‘try and take care of yourself and we’ll see how things are in a few months” talk.
And that’s what I’ll do. I’ll keep taking my medications, trying to eat well, and doing the best I can to care for myself. And everything else!