• Another look: It’s OK to Need Help

    This post was originally written in March 2011.  At the time I was going through a rather rough bout of depression, was struggling to get a handle on things, and ultimately made the decision to seek help.  Given that May is Mental Health Awareness Month, I thought this was worth another look. In previous blog posts and conversations over the last two years, I’ve made no bones about the fact that I’ve battled with bouts of depression and anxiety since I was diagnosed with congestive heart failure and type 2 diabetes. The daily routines of medications, blood sugar testing, meal planning, and other related bullshit, combined with the constant worry…

  • Possible Next Steps

    So, yesterday’s visit with with my primary care doctor was quite revealing.  Given the fact that she called me directly and said we needed to discuss a letter she received from my cardiologist, I knew it would be an interesting visit going in. As I mentioned in a previous post, the results from a recent round of testing performed by the cardiologist indicated that the strength of my heart has deteriorated again, and my ejection fraction is back down to 35%.  I knew that going into the appointment yesterday.  And I knew that the cardiologist had ordered a more intensive test to confirm that result.  What I didn’t know was…

  • It’s OK to Need Help

    In previous blog posts and conversations over the last two years, I’ve made no bones about the fact that I’ve battled with bouts of depression and anxiety since I was diagnosed with congestive heart failure and type 2 diabetes. The daily routines of medications, blood sugar testing, meal planning, and other related bullshit, combined with the constant worry of trying to figure out how to pay for all of those medications and testing supplies, are simply overwhelming at times. Add to that all of the typical stuff that goes along with every day life, you know… work, bills, chores, relationships, etc… and you’ve got yourself a great big barrel of…

  • Battling the other D

    “Depression hurts.” That’s what the lady in the Cymbalta commercial said this morning.  My mind screamed, “Lady, you have no idea!” in response.  The words never left my mouth, but they sure could have. I’ve battled depression off and on for many years.  It comes and goes, and no two bouts are ever the same.  Sometimes it lasts but a day or so, and other times I battle for weeks to get back on track.  As of late, I’ve found myself in the later. I am, for all intents and purposes, fighting with depression right now.  And it most certainly does hurt.  It hurts mentally, affecting my ability to work,…