• Confessions of a broken man

    Broken and wore out.  That’s just how I feel.  Ashamed and guilty, too. For a the better part of the last year there has been a dark cloud around me.   One death of a loved one right after another, and other family and personal issues left and right. More and more, I’ve had thoughts of suicide overwhelming my mind.  I don’t think I really want to die.  I just want to stop hurting all the time.  While I don’t feel that I have the courage to actually pull the trigger or push the plunger on a syringe or act on a dozen other means that I’ve thought about, I don’t…

  • Trying to Fix Me

    The better part of the last year, since watching my aunt die of cancer on July 27, 2013, has been a real struggle for me mentally. That experience pretty much blew open Pandora’s box of “why bother?” demons and poured them all over my head. While I’m no stranger to fighting those demons, this time has been different. This time, I’ve been losing that fight. I haven’t had the drive to care for myself as I have been. For almost 5 years, I’ve thrown myself head first into my treatment and management routines. Always on top of things. Yet there are now large gaps in my glucose logs. And other…

  • Trying to break the bonds

    They say that the first step in solving a problem is admitting that you have a problem.   As difficult as it is for me to do so, I must take this step so that I can begin the process of getting back to being myself. The last couple of months have been a real struggle.  Watching my aunt die really messed me up mentally, and stirred the “why bother?” demons that I’ve fought with off and on since diagnosis. I’ve been losing that fight the last 2 months and have finally admitted to myself, and now everyone else, that: I’m Burned out and Overwhelmed, and that has led to Neglect…

  • Guest Post: Therapy By The Book

    Today’s guest post is by my dear friend Cheri Pate.  It’s no secret that life can be… well…a bitch.  Situations at work, at home, with our health, and in daily life in general can overwhelm us at times.  Some of these situations are beyond our control and we just have to deal as best we can.  But how to release the related emotions built up inside?  How can we turn the negative thoughts and energy into something positive?  Today, Cheri shares a way that works for her.  Thanks again, Cheri! When Mike asked me to guest blog for him, I was flattered & excited.  I was also worried.  What would…

  • Giving the gym another shot

    Recently I tweeted that I had joined a gym.  And there have been a few tweets since indicating that I was either en route to the gym or had just left.  What that initial tweet should have said, though, was “I just joined a gym, AGAIN!” Since I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and congestive heart failure in 2008, I’ve had a couple of gym memberships which I took advantage of for a while then, for one reason or another, had to stop going.  Lack of money for the membership fees, major setbacks with my heart, and total burnout all led to dropped memberships. Over the last year, I’ve…