• The Ah Ha Moment

    If you’ve read my blog, or followed me on Twitter or Facebook, for any length of time, you’re probably aware that life has not been too kind to me or my family over the last few years.  And you are probably aware that as the year 2014 was ending, I was in a very dark place and I was considering ending my life.  Obviously, I didn’t.  I can’t express how thankful I am for the messages of love and support that came in from all of my DOC friends and family at that time. In mid-January, I was reading a blog post written by my friend Mari Ruddy, in which she mentioned her experience with PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) stemming…

  • Cartoon: Off the wagon

    The road of life isn’t always smooth.  It’s often rough and rugged.  And sometimes, as we’re traveling along, we hit a series of bumps and ruts so treacherous that every aspect of our lives is interrupted.  We’re completely shaken.  We lose our balance.  And we find ourselves laying in a deep, muddy rut in the road.  We’ve fallen off the wagon.  And soon everything is out of control.  We have to get back up. And that’s easier said than done.  I know, I’m there now.  Lying in that rut, struggling to get back up.  

  • A step forward

    Well, with 2014 over, and the Confessions of a broken man out of my head, I’m starting 2015 by trying to get back to caring for myself.  The first step forward has been sorting my medications out into the pillbox and, of course, actually taking them yesterday and today.  I’ve taken my Victoza, Lantus and Humalog as well.  And I’ve checked my blood sugar.  It may not seem like much to some, but it’s a starting point.   It’s something that I know that I need to work on.  A fix that can be made immediately.  It’s a step forward.  

  • Confessions of a broken man

    Broken and wore out.  That’s just how I feel.  Ashamed and guilty, too. For a the better part of the last year there has been a dark cloud around me.   One death of a loved one right after another, and other family and personal issues left and right. More and more, I’ve had thoughts of suicide overwhelming my mind.  I don’t think I really want to die.  I just want to stop hurting all the time.  While I don’t feel that I have the courage to actually pull the trigger or push the plunger on a syringe or act on a dozen other means that I’ve thought about, I don’t know for sure.    Depression lies.  It makes you think and…