My Diabetic Heart

Living with Congestive Heart Failure and Type 2 Diabetes

WELCOME TO My Diabetic Heart!

Type 2 Diabetes and Congestive Heart Failure are two common conditions that people are diagnosed with every day. Living with one of these conditions at any age is hard enough; imagine living with both at the age of 28. That's what this blog is all about. It's about my life with Type 2 Diabetes and CHF, and about showing that you can live a fulfilling life with each.



Archive for the ‘Health’ Category

4
Apr

It helps someone

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Today's Prompt: I write about my health because...

Writing has been a part of my life with type 2 diabetes and congestive heart failure since I was diagnosed in late December 2008.  At first it was basically used as a mind dump.  A way to get all of the thoughts and feelings out of my head.  And it was a way to document what was happening and help me keep track of doctor visits, tests, etc…

As I waded deeper into the world of the diabetes online community and saw how other blogs were having a positive impact on readers, my writing became more about sharing my experience with others.  I hoped that someone reading might take some small nugget from my ramblings and that it would help them keep fighting their own battles in some way.  And, to my amazement, it has.

Sharing my story through my writing on this blog and in other places over the last 3 years has given me so many wonderful opportunities to connect with some truly amazing people.  People from all walks of life and from all around the world.  People with whom I share one common problem. We all live with a type of diabetes.  And some share another common problem with me.  Heart disease.

Three years into my journey, I’m still writing.  Writing about my successes and my set backs.  Trying to make sense of it all.  And even if I never understand all of this mess, I’ll have at least taken the time to think through it.  Writing helps with that.

And, if only one person is helped by my writing, it’s still worth the effort.  Even if that one person is me.

3
Apr

The ability to control time

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Today's Prompt: Superpower Day

Don’t you wish there was more time? More time in the day to finish those never ending chores. More time to cut away at that mountain of college coursework. Hi Ashley! Hi Kerri!

How about more time to sleep? Lord knows I could use some of that.

What about a little more time to spend with friends and loved ones? I know I never want those special moments to end. I know we all want those D-meetups to last forever as well. Yet they come and go so quickly.

And don’t you just hate that the weekend and other days off from work are over as soon as they’ve started?  Yeah, I do too.

So, my superpower would be the ability to control time.  The ability to slow it down occasionally.  Add a little extra time to the day here and there.

Then maybe, just maybe, I’d be able to enjoy those special moments as they are happening.  Instead of being left wondering what the hell just happened.

2
Apr

Words to live by

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Today's Prompt: Quotation Inspiration

Anyone who has read my blog for a while or had contact with me in some way knows that the last three years of my life have been rough.  Facing my own mortality in the wake of being diagnosed with congestive heart failure and fighting to stay alive has been a harrowing experience to say the least.

I’ve written about the fears that have haunted me at night, the uncertainty of where I would see another tomorrow.  And it has hurt to do so.  Acknowledging those fears, however, was the first step in gaining an upper hand over them and moving forward.  If there were one quote that embodies what I’ve had to do and what I continue to do each day, it would be:

 Courage is looking fear right in the eye and saying, “Get the hell out of my way, I’ve got things to do”. – Author Unknown

I’ve also written about how precious each day that we have truly is.  Of the importance to live each as if it really were your last.  No one knows for sure the number of years he or she will have in life.  Everyone can, however, be sure that there’s plenty of life in his or her years.  Remember,

“Life is not a journey to the grave with intentions of arriving safely in a pretty well-preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out and loudly proclaiming … WOW! What a ride!” ~ Author Unknown

Those are definitely words to live by.  Well, ones that I live by, anyway. :-)

1
Apr

Three Years in a Box

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Today's Prompt: Health Time Capsule

Today is the first day of Wego Health’s Health Activist Writer’s Month Challenge, and I have foolishly signed up to participate again.  I say foolishly because I never seem to be able to stick with these month long blogging events, yet I still sign up.  Maybe this will be the one.  We’ll see.

Today I’m creating a time capsule that will be opened 100 years from now.  On April 1, 2112, some poor schmuck will have the misfortune of examining and cataloging this big box of crap representing the first three years of my life with Type 2 Diabetes and Congestive Heart Failure.

Since I have so many things to include in the time capsule, I’ll be using an old wooden coffin for the container.  What? It is being buried, right? :-)   And, when I say many things to include, I mean it.  That box will be filled to the brim with the follow:

  • Approximately 400 pill bottles.
  • 10 Byetta pens
  • Several boxes of lancets
  • 3 dead meters
  • Several hundred used test strips found in the weirdest of places.
  • A biPAP machine for treating sleep apnea.
  • Video from my heart catheterization
  • Reports from multiple stress tests
  • Results from several A1C tests
  • Cookbooks that I never use
  • A food scale that hasn’t been touched in…a while.
  • Photos from meetups with my friends in the Diabetes Online Community.
  • Business cards for my blog.
  • Prints of cartoons I’ve drawn about Diabetes.

Those items and whatever I happen to find at the last minute will be enclosed in the coffin and buried for the next 100 years.

On that fateful day in 2112, that poor schmuck will open that big box of crap and begin the arduous task of examining the contents.  He’ll make note of the seriousness of the drug problem that I must have had given all of the pill bottles.  He’ll make note that he found another box from someone with living with diseases that had long since been cured.

And when his work has been finished, he’ll ask his boss where to put the coffin for safe keeping.

“We’re not keeping that box of crap. I just wanted to see if you’d look through it.  APRIL FOOLS!”

27
Mar

Diabetes Alert Day

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Today, March 27, is Diabetes Alert Day.  The American Diabetes Association’s one-day effort to educate the American public on the risk factors for developing Type 2 Diabetes.

It’s a wake-up call, a call for people to take a few minutes to complete the ADA’s Diabetes Risk Test to determine their risk of developing the disease.

This year, Boar’s Head® will donate $5 to the American Diabetes Association for every Diabetes Risk Test taken, starting March 27 through April 27, 2012, up to $50,000.

Approximately 18 million Americans are living with a diagnosis of Type 2 Diabetes.  And it’s estimated that at least 7 million Americans are living with the disease and don’t yet know it.

So please, take the test, share it with friends and family members, and should your results indicate you are at risk, talk to your doctor.

Wake up, America.  The time to take action against Type 2 diabetes is now!

Filed under: Diabetes, Health



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My Diabetic Heart by Mike Durbin is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 United States License.

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An Appointment Worth the Wait
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After nearly two months of waiting for the appointment, I finally got to see the cardiologist on Friday to review the results of the cardiac MRI, blood work, and 30 day heart monitor that I had to endure in an effort to determine why there had been a decline in the function of my heart and if I would need a defibrillator.

I woke up late and had to scramble to get ready and head out to the medical center on the other side of town.  Normally if I’m in a rush and stressed like that it shows up when the nurses check my blood pressure, etc.., but not this visit.  My BP was normal and by the time the doctor came in to see me, I was oddly peaceful.

To my relief, the doctor confirmed that the cardiac MRI  indicated that my ejection fraction is at 47%. That is in stark contrast to the 35% that previous tests had indicated. And since defibrillators generally aren’t prescribed for patients with ejection fractions over 36%, that means I will not need one.  The doctor stated that a normal ejection fraction is around 55%, and since mine is 47%, he considers the weakness of my heart muscle to be mild.  Since I’m already taking the best medications for treating congestive heart failure and improving heart strength, the doctor wants to continue with the regimen that I’m on now and see how things progress.

The results of the blood work done to check my potassium, iron, thyroid, etc… all came back within the normal ranges.  While I’m thankful that those results were good, they are also frustrating because we were hoping to find a treatable cause for the decline, like an iron overload or something like that.  Alas, there’s no evidence of that, and I’m really not going to spend much time dwelling on it.

There were a few points of interest on tapes from the heart monitor I wore for a month, but the doctor said they seemed to indicate normal elevations in heart rate that anyone can expect from time to time.  Nothing to really worry about.

I can’t begin to explain how glad I am to finally have some of the answers that I needed, and how thankful I am that the results from the tests were worth the grief I endured going through them.  And as frustrating as the wait has been, it’s been worth it.

As for that odd peaceful feeling I was feeling on Friday?  It’s still with me as I write this.  I’m more at peace with things now than I have been in a long time.  And, along with the improvement in how I’m feeling mentally, I’m also feeling better and stronger physically.  And that, my friends, is saying something.

And speaking of friends, I can’t begin to say how much I appreciate the love, support, good thoughts and prayers that I’ve received from everyone in the Diabetes Online Community over the last few months.  If there were any doubts in my mind as to whether I’m loved or not, they are long gone.  To all of you:  Thank You, and Lots of Love, my friends!

 

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It’s OK to Need Help
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In previous blog posts and conversations over the last two years, I’ve made no bones about the fact that I’ve battled with bouts of depression and anxiety since I was diagnosed with congestive heart failure and type 2 diabetes.

The daily routines of medications, blood sugar testing, meal planning, and other related bullshit, combined with the constant worry of trying to figure out how to pay for all of those medications and testing supplies, are simply overwhelming at times.

Add to that all of the typical stuff that goes along with every day life, you know… work, bills, chores, relationships, etc… and you’ve got yourself a great big barrel of fun.

Then top that off with dealing with a loved one being diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and going through all of the activities and emotions that go along with that, and being forced to put a near 9 year relationship on hold while your best friend becomes the primary caregiver for that loved one, and that great big barrel of fun transforms into the biggest clusterf*#K you’ve ever seen.

It’s all enough to destroy someone mentally. And the extreme mental hurt quickly manifests into extreme physical hurt. And you eventually reach a point where you just can’t take it anymore, and feel like throwing the towel in.

As difficult as it is for me to admit, I reached that point in the early part of February.

And the hard part is that I know it didn’t have to happen. I had a little bottle of “happy” pills in my possession that my doctor had given me the month before. I just wasn’t able to take them immediately, because I was starting a new blood sugar medication and had to get through the side effects of it before starting the other medicine.

And then when it was time to start the Celexa, I kept putting it off and putting it off, because of the fear that I’d have the same problems with it that I had with similar drugs years before. When you’ve had a bad experience with medications, or anything for that matter, you tend to shy away from them. It’s perfectly normal to have those feelings.

Things finally reached a point in early February where I knew I needed help, and knew that I had to take the plunge into the world of anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medications again. And so, on the 21st of last month, I broke the seal on the prescription bottle, cut the little pill in half as the doctor had instructed, and jumped.

Tomorrow, March 21st, will mark a month since I started the medication, and I can honestly say that I’m glad I did. I’m not nearly as edgy as I had been, and feel quite mellow most of the time. And mellow is a good thing.

The moral of this story is this: It’s OK to need help; You just have to ask for it!

Recent Comments

Mike Hoskins

Thanks for being awesome, Mike! Not only was it very cool you let me borrow the pin, but it was great sitting and talking for a bit before getting back on the road. And Riley loved seeing you again! The pin on my collar did spark some conversation, too - so thanks, my friend!!

Kate

Yay Mike! Thanks for these links. Heading over to both blogs now!

Ashley

When I decided to keep blogging, I never thought I'd end up being able to help my favorite Jedi Master get on the lizard spit wagon but I'm so glad I was able to help. Love ya buddy.

Mike Hoskins

Thanks for the links to two such awesome people, Mike! Loved hearing all the cool diverse stories of how we got into the DOC, and seeing the wonderful personalities up close and personal whenever that chance arises! Great post, my friend.